Sometimes, when your world falls apart, you’re left with only two choices: succumb to the pain or rebel against it. We had just poured the foundation for our dream home. I could already picture it: a house filled with love, laughter, and the chaos of raising four kids. Yes, I wanted four kids. But all those dreams came crashing down in that one doctor’s visit.
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My boyfriend, (yes I have boyfriend now, I mean manfriend, since he’s not a boy anymore and I’m not a girl, so with that saying I’m his woman and yes I’m flaunting now, because why not, but right focus Sjefi! I haven’t shared much on my blog lately so I felt like I had to introduce him, but yeah I will continue this blog soon enough, as if right now)
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It’s very unfortunate that my favorite color is red, because guess what! As soon as I see something red, I have to have it. A red bag, a red wallet, a red notebook, a red shoe, a red blouse. You name it, red flags, well of course, gotta have those too. Well because red is just not easy for me to resist. But I’ve slowly come to realize that not all red is a must have. Not the dress that doesn’t compliment you, not the shoe that hurts your soles, not the bikini that doesn’t fit you and especially not the red flags that are meant to be steered clear from.
In my short single life I’ve been involved with men I knew from the start that maybe, just maybe they were a bad idea. But for some reason, I like them bad bad bad bad boys, they make me feel so good (Okay, I’m just singing now). I just constantly fall for them, even when they proudly wave their red flags. My mind goes like … Oe red things, gotta have that. Until you realize a pattern of red flags in counting and then you go … What the actual freaking fuck is this, Universe?
Alas my dear, not all reds are must haves. You don’t drive through red lights do you? Even if the color is pretty. Sigh, it took me long enough to resist what will not serve you in even the near future. You don’t have to try out all things (in this case, read men) that come your way which look tempted to touch. Sometimes, often enough, that dress looks better on the mannequin than on your body and sometimes, maybe that beautiful red shoe will hurt your feet even if it looks good on you. So yeah, carry on my love and proudly say no more yes to red flags. Until we meet again …
So, I had met him once and as crazy adventurous as I was, I had decided on an overnight road trip as a second date. My cousins begged me not to go, they almost couldn’t sleep and I was being lectured how crazy stupid I was. They were happy I started dating, but didn’t expect me to make such stupid decisions like go on a road trip with someone I’ve only met once. But this guy seemed harmless. He was a whole tad bit older than I am, so what harm could he possibly do and he was so charming. Yeah I was lucky he was harmlessly charming.
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“Can you please come over? So we can continue what we started. I promise you dessert this time around”. I had complained that my menu hasn’t been completed the week before and he had said that the night was not finished. In my head I was also thinking what the hell I was doing. This guy was 26 years old, what was I even thinking. So of course I had to make a scene and asked him what it is that we were doing. And he simply answered, “what is it that you want? I have no problem with it that you are older than me, I like you and I’m sure you will like the things I wanna do to you.”
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It was five months ago when I had my last kiss (keeping it rated here okay), so it was about time we did something about that. I felt all tickly down there and although I have helped and catered to myself quite good in these past months, I was ready to be taken care of and catered to. So, yeah, I once again logged into Tinder. I liked the swiping on this platform. (In Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” melody) To the left, to the left, everything you don’t like, swipe to the left. And everything that looks right, swipe to the right.
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I’m calling this my first date, because I have never been on a date with someone I’ve never met before. Sure I’ve been on dates with my ex boyfriend while we were in a committed relationship, but this dating someone I’ve never even met before was new to me, so yes, this will be my first date. I had met him on Facebook, cause what do you know, you can meet people on Facebook (I stopped doing that though). That day I was working a late night at the office when I got a friend request. I accepted based on his profile picture and the fact that he has worked for one of the companies I had once worked for. So, it turned out we had worked for the same company but not at the same time. After a nice chat, I got myself a date. How the hell that happened, I don’t even know anymore.
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Path To Self Discovery 