I turned the keys to my apartment as I got home and turned on the lights. The house was a mess. I hadn’t gotten time to tidy up the place for the past days. Clothes were on the kitchen table and on the chair. Documents were all over the living room / kitchen. As soon as I locked the door and the 3 windows, I turned the lights back off. It was a fairly beautiful night to deal with all that mess, the moon was out. The moon, which I smiled at before I came in, a story I will someday share.

As I entered the bedroom and locked the door behind me, the one place I promised myself to keep neat at all times, I laid down on the bed and started texting a friend. Everyday I had another friend or family member either texting or calling. I haven’t really felt alone since I was alone, because of them surrounding me, I was blessed. But as I was speaking to this friend, I desperately was eager to enjoy my own company. This was new, since the relocation, this was the first time I actually mindfully wanted to choose to be alone.

I smiled and excused myself, because I had a more important meeting … a meeting with myself. How rare is this feeling? I decided to take a hot shower and write. After so long, I wanted to write. It probably wasn’t gonna be the book I was wanting to start on, but I was so happy I actually wanted to write again. So I put on some music and as I’m writing this I’m listening to Celine Dion, Because You Loved Me and I couldn’t help but think, “Because I loved me”. As I listened to this song while writing this I replaced all the you’s with I and the song had a whole new meaning.

Really if you have time, put on this song and replace every “you” with “I”. Without being aware of it, I was practicing this for a while. “I am everything I am, because I loved me.” We often search for things outside of us, even love, while all the while everything we are searching for is right here, within us. Relocating got me worried about being all alone in a foreign place, with foreign people. But you know what, I met me. I met a whole different me and she was so interesting, everyday I get more eager to spend time with her.

So all worries aside, I am more me than I have ever been me … As I’m listening to “I Wanna Know” by “Joe” I have this tendency to replace every “you” with “I”. So yes, try it, replace every “you” with “I” and see what happens.