Replaceable

“I can just have children with someone else”

“Wouldn’t it be crazy if we parted ways, I have children with someone else and then we get back together”

“Maybe it’s a good thing I’m with someone else now to have kids and we can be together in the future”.

Continue reading

Kryptonite

At 31, I was single and alone. I had broken up with my boyfriend and shortly after I also ditched Mr. Seduction. I didn’t need relationship drama when I wasn’t even in a relationship. So I minded my own business, trying to figure out what to do next with my life, when I met Mr. Kryptonite on Facebook. He sent me a friend request, he looked decent, so I accepted.

Continue reading

From BunnyYogaJourney to PathToSelfDiscovery

I started this blog as BunnyYogaJourney in 2016 to type down the extra feelings I had. Writing became my way to cope with everything I was going through. Whenever life felt too heavy, yoga brought clarity, and written words were like a sigh in savasana. Through my practice, I began unfolding layers of myself I never knew existed. I needed a space to express those feelings, to let them be heard without judgment, especially because I was the on judging myself the hardest. I named it BunnyYogaJourney because my partner at that time called me Bunny, and everything I was expressing came from what my yoga journey was awakening in me.

Continue reading

Yoga Foundation

Ever since my first yoga class, yoga has been a huge part of my life. It reeked with benefits. It started with calming my mind through asana practice, but it also kept my body was moving, flexible and alive. I’ve always been someone who lives inside her head. My thoughts were louder than my voice, my ideas greater than my actions. I lived more in the past and the future than in the present. And maybe I still do sometimes. But yoga taught me something beautiful, how to quiet my mind through flow, and how to balance through focus. My mind felt clearer, my body lighter, and suddenly there was more space to express myself. My life became all about yoga, I practiced in class, at home, on the street, just about everywhere. I celebrated this new epiphany and wanted to share it with the world.

Continue reading

Blocked fallopian tubes

It all started on January 26, 2016, a date forever etched in my memory. That was the day my dreams, as I knew them, ended and my life, as it is now, began. The morning was quiet, unassuming, but significant in a way I couldn’t have imagined. My partner and I had been undergoing treatment to get pregnant for months. It had been a journey of hope, fear, and countless appointments. That day, I was scheduled for a procedure to check if my fallopian tubes were open.

Continue reading

10 year mourning anniversary

The days leading up to tomorrow have been hard, emotionally hard. I’ve been trying to stay afloat, to keep it all together, because life goes on. I wake up in the mornings and go to work, a job I genuinely enjoy going back to. I do the dishes, the laundry, and try my utmost best to manage the household I share with a wonderful husband. I feed Chubby, my sourdough starter, who is both spoiled and stubborn. I keep myself busy, learning new things, creating, doing my best to fill the void. But the harder I try not to think about it, the tears are always just a thought away.

Continue reading

Power of Control

I often find myself frustrated over things that are not going my way, or the way I thought or expected it to. Some things are just taking too long, some people are just not cooperating, for some reason once again I feel like I’m stuck and whatever I try to do, I just can’t seem to change the current situation. I notice how I start feeling stressed and upset, impatient and start to be unkind not only towards others but also myself. Then it feels like the tip of my nose is almost reaching a very big wall (I’m saying almost because my belly touched the wall first LOL) and I can’t move past this wall, I can only move sideways. And I also do that for some time because maybe I will come across an opening.

Continue reading

Rainbow love

My boyfriend, (yes I have boyfriend now, I mean manfriend, since he’s not a boy anymore and I’m not a girl, so with that saying I’m his woman and yes I’m flaunting now, because why not, but right focus Sjefi! I haven’t shared much on my blog lately so I felt like I had to introduce him, but yeah I will continue this blog soon enough, as if right now)

Continue reading