Somewhat 5 years ago I did a 10-day Vipassana meditation course. I have shared about this before in my blog “I am love” https://bunnyyogajourney.com/2019/04/11/i-am-love/#more-368 and I have lived by this ever since. What I did not share back then was what the course did for me in that moment. Probably because it was still too raw for me to share. I’ll see if I’m ready now…

A very dear friend of mine was pregnant and her pregnancy was the hardest for me to be around, because I was jealous. Mind you, I’m finally loudly admitting to this and in doing so I’m allowing myself to accept that I was indeed jealous. I’ve always did my best to cover this up, as jealousy is not healthy for any of us, but considering the circumstances and my situation, can I blame me for being human?

I decided NO, this jealousy won’t take me over, I will conquer this. As she was very pregnant, in the last days of her pregnancy, I decided I had to figure this out before this baby is born. This mommy-to-be, all future-mommies-to-be deserve my love and support and not my jealousy. So I sat for 10-days and I’ve worked through everything I could come across that time. And the mantra was “This too shall pass”.

This too shall pass … All that was, has or will pass; All that is, will eventually pass; And all that will be, shall also pass. All bad things that you are going through shall pass, so sit it through. All good things that are, shall pass, so enjoy it while it lasts. And I sat with this jealousy like a baby that needed caring, tapping my toes waiting for it to pass and it did. My friend birthed a beautiful little girl and I’ve been granted the godmom’s role.

Eversince I’ve lived by this. The problem now is in my head everything will pass, which is good for the less enjoyable moments like enduring pain, but bummer cause good things will eventually pass too like being in a loving relationship. So now my mental state goes like: “Let’s not enjoy too much, let’s not give it my all, for it will pass and when it does I won’t be totally heartbroken since I’m already mentally prepared for it.”

So I’m choosing to adjust this mantra I’ve lived by to: “This too shall last” for life’s most beautiful moments. I know, I know, it will eventually pass but just for the sake of being fully present in the moment, taking it all in and giving it the fairest chance, I will experience them as if this too shall last. And when the time is ready for it to pass, I will endure it because that too shall pass.