It was five months ago when I had my last kiss (keeping it rated here okay), so it was about time we did something about that. I felt all tickly down there and although I have helped and catered to myself quite good in these past months, I was ready to be taken care of and catered to. So, yeah, I once again logged into Tinder. I liked the swiping on this platform. (In Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” melody) To the left, to the left, everything you don’t like, swipe to the left. And everything that looks right, swipe to the right.

I’ve dated men older than me, so I’ve decided why not date men younger than me? I was only looking for a fling anyways, nothing serious. So I swiped right on this handsome young man, who was less then ten years younger then me, but we were not in the same decade. So while I was in my thirties, he was in his twenties. He was a very talented chef who was working in a well known restaurant with a promising future ahead of him. Kind and reserved he invited me to come over for dinner, of course a dinner prepared by the chef himself. After no hesitation I accepted his invitation.

I wore my red dress, took time to shave my legs, my armpits and well you know, my lady parts too. Cause by now I know not shaving and wearing granny panties are no reason to stop a heated moment. So I did my clean up routine. I was on my period, so that ought to stop us, so I thought. Even though it was a first date, but not my first date ever anymore, I wasn’t as nervous. So I put on red lipstick and off I went.

He was Columbian, so when I arrived he kindly greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. He was tall, dark skinned, physically in very good shape and very nice and attentive. Of course we texted over the phone in English, so when we met we had to communicate through Google Translator, which was quite funny as my main language is Dutch and his was Spanish. We had ceviche as an appetizer and pork with a salad as the main dish. After dinner he asked me “Puedo besarte?”, or something like that. Pulling out our phones again, to translate. You see, what I like about foreign men is, they actually ask your permission to kiss you before they do it. And when I had agreed, he passionately did so and I’ve been kissed.

As it was getting hot in the living area, we kissingly moved to the airconditioned area which happened to have a bed in it. This young man, he definitely had all the energy and force I thought I could keep up with and catered to me very well. Good thing I shaved as we made out to the fullest extend, bearing in mind that this time I was saved by my period. When it was time to go home, he kindly kissed me good night, thanked me for the company and promised me dessert the next time.